Bizarro Lord (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} akai_senshi) wrote,@ 2008-04-17 15:00:00 |
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| Current mood: |  amused |
| Current music: | Flaw, "Recognize" |
| Entry tags: | anime, bleach, crack, fandom, fanfiction, funny, furuba, naruto, television |
Fandom Secrets Crossover Fic-A-Thon.
This post is all of the stuff I've written for the fic-a-thon over at FS on LJ.
But first...my requests that no one has written for yet. 1 2 3
PLZ FOR TO TAKE MY FIC REQUESTS???
Isshin took some time out of his busy day of scolding Ichigo and protecting his daughters to go to a club, leaving Ichigo to watch his sisters. There he saw the most beautiful woman- she looked almost exactly like his dead wife. When she was sent over to his table, bringing a gin-on-the-rocks, he smiled.
Isshin was awed by her...until she opened her mouth. She was a he in drag!
"What? Do you not like the way Ranka-chan looks?" Ranka flipped "her" hair and winked at him. "You are handsome, you know."
Isshin was absolutely flabbergasted. He had walked into a transvestite club by mistake!
"No, no, you're quite pretty. You look just like my dead wife!" He grabbed nervously at Ranka's waist, and forced "her" down next to him. "At least you can have my drink!"
"So...you have any kids?" Ranka asked.
"Oh, I have a son and two beautiful daughters. Flowers of Daddy's soul, they are. And the son...he gets into trouble a
"Ooh, I'd like to get a few of those myself." Ranka giggled and poured Isshin more alcohol.
His judgment clouded by booze, Isshin decided to take Ranka home with him. He burst through the door and announced, "Hey kids! I've found your new mother!"
"...the hell?" muttered Ichigo. "That's obviously a dude."
Karin leaned into Ichigo while Yuzu gleefully complimented Ranka on "her" clothes and whispered, "See? I told you Dad's a pervert."
Darth Vader was set to detonate the Death Star. Sure, it stunk, and was the size of a moon, but his minions didn't seem to mind.
"Is it me," he said, "or has the Death Star become more...oddly pudgy?"
A booming, nasal voice caught Darth Vader and his minions of guard:
"Don't call me fat, motherfuckers! Now get the hell out of my asshole!"
Darth Vader resigned himself to sitting at the console and breathing heavily, as the Death Star was rocked by a pair of giant, fat fingers.
That was no moon, indeed.
On the seventh day-
When God was supposed to have rested- he decided
To create something interesting.
He took the deepest, darkest leather imaginable,
Sewed it together, and stuffed it with loads upon loads
Of penises, and watched it chase after small boys.
But God had made a mistake.
Hard Gay, as he called himself,
Raped God and then kicked him out of Heaven.
Smirking from completion,
He proceeded to climb down onto the earth
And hopefully enjoy having tentacle-sex
With Cthulu, and then punch him out.
Ishida Uryuu was walking home from sewing club, when he happened upon another young man who wore the same brand of glasses that he did. His mind was much too focused on defeating Ichigo and proving that he was worth anything as a Quincy, and he bumped into the other young man.
Reeling slightly from the shock, both men pushed up their glasses to avoid their sliding down their noses and all the way off. The sun shone in quite an evil fashion upon both pairs of spectacles, but Ishida was blinded both by the intense evil glare off of the other boy's glasses, and by the stitchery of his private-school uniform.
As Ishida retreated, Kyouya smiled to himself. Surely he had Japan's most evil spectacles.
There was a large erotic writers' convention taking place near a hot springs, and both Jiraiya and Shigure were on break from walking around the convention and checking out everyone else's smut, and some of the sex-toy booths that were set up towards the back.
They happened to meet on the men's side of the hot springs; Jiraiya was still busy working on his newest manuscript for the Icha Icha series. He dropped it next to the spring proper, and Shigure began to give it a read.
"Hmmm...not bad...you've got the girl-on-girl down pat...but where are the uniforms? It can't be sexy without any high-school-girl uniforms?"
"I know what I'm doing. Besides...I totally plan on making one of these into a cat-eared dickgirl!" Jiraya shouted with glee. "Guys will eat that up!"
"I can see where that could fit in, but I'd also make her the other one's long-lost childhood friend." Shigure rambled on and on to himself, and when he was finished critiquing the text, He saw Jiraiya at a small peephole, looking into the women's bath.
"WHOA MAMA!" he shouted. "This one's really pretty! I don't usually go for the ones with short hair, but she's got a pair of breasts on her! Shake them boobs, baby!"
Shigure was intrigued, to say the least, so he went over to the peephole and quickly shoved Jiraiya out fo the way so that he could get a peek.
"Wow, you're right. Although I think she should shave down there..."
"Naw. Natural's better."
At that point, the woman took notice that she was being spied on, and ran towards the men's side of the hot springs, carefully wrapping her nakedness in a towel.
"SHIGURE! What the hell are you DOING? Not only are you two weeks late with that manuscript you owe me, you and your sicko friends are peeping on me? I'll get you good." She proceeded to smack the peephole, so that Shigure got a black eye.
"Damn...It was...Mit-chan...my publisher..."
"A shapely babe AND a sadist for a publisher? You are lucky," said Jiraiya as he settled back down into the hot spring.
I hope you enjoyed these! NOW DO MINE IF YOU KNOW THE FANDOMS.